She's like so, whatever...

Yes, I know....back so very soon....what can I say? Nothing good to watch, no one to bug over the phone and well in a rather upbeat mood cos I just read the blog of my least favourite person whom I shall call 'Yoko'...just like the horrid Ono woman, this Yoko is a confirmed slut, doing every and anyone she can (in fact one of my friends, Desmond, claims that one of her sex tapes were passed around his school). Yoko and I were once close, this was when we both began college yet over the years our friendship really disintegrated into barely concealed loathing. The fact is I started to see thru her. Well, in Yoko's latest blog, she whines about her lack of attention from her ex - BF Epstein, one of my college friends as well (although I use the term 'friend ' loosely as that a-hole always held a grudge towards me cos I became Prez of the club he wanted to be in charge of) and well, Yoko, being Yoko got super drunk. And that girl CANNOT hold her liquor. I mean give her half a beer and she's flying....so as per the usual she got tipsy, started bawling and made a scene...and was comforted by her new BFF Mrs. Mustard ( who is only in that position due to Yoko's knowledge that Mrs. Mustard and I were sworn enemies since college)...and well basically history repeated itself cos that girl has made a scene at each and every party she has ever attended.

Take for instance my 21st in May....I had planned a party, nothing too elaborate, but as most girls desire, I too wanted that day to be about me. Anyway, my good friend Pam had flown in from Bangalore especially for the occasion and Pam, Yoko and my other BFF Penny Lane were all going to spend the night at my place after the party. Pam and Penny were NOT looking forward to Yoko intruding on our hanging out time, and neither was I so I kept dropping hints to dissuade her, but completely ignorant tool that she is, she ignored the hints. Come the day of the party. Yoko tried to completely steal the spotlight and flirted with each and every one of the guests including my brother the blue meanie (much to Martha's chagrin!) in front of her then Boyfriend Epstein. Well, needless to say I got really irritated.The icing on the cake came when one of my dearest friends, Jude, spilt a little beer on her by accident. Naturally attention whore that she is, Yoko burst into tears (making it a straight 3 birthdays of mine, where she has cried. By the way we've known each other three years!:) ) and threw a coke at poor Jude. Jude, poor guy tried to calm her down. I was so angry that to draw attention away from her pity fest, I announced that I was cutting the cake. After the cake was cut, Yoko decided to make one last final scene and stormed up to me to tell me she was leaving. I was like 'whatever' and then she tried to pick a fight by whining about how I never fed her cake. ( I think I did her a service cos her thighs are fat enough as it is)...yet luckily this little play for attention on her part made my party mood better, cos with her gone everyone eased up and relaxed and Pam, Penny and I had a lot of fun at our sleepover.

The crux of my 'friendship' with Yoko is this: I cannot stand her, I want her gone. She's attention craving, desperate, slutty, unoriginal, unfunny and every other bad quality there is. Yet She has zero friends so she keeps bouncing back to me. Every time we have fought she comes crying to me saying that I have Pam, and Penny and mostly that I have my BFF Lucy, but she has no one. And I just don't know how to respond. Every time I cut her off, she tries to claw her way back in. However, gradually I'm removing this tumour from my life, and thanks to her, I know never to make the same mistake of befriending someone like her EVER AGAIN.